Am I capable of taking criticisms?
This is something that struck me today, as I was sitting with two guys and discussing somethings, in which there were instances of me being guilty of not being responsible enough. Somewhere deep inside it probably made me uncomfortable, for my mood slowly shifted. I became morose.
It was then that I began to wonder. I have rarely faced criticisms. There could be two reasons for this. 1. I am so good that people don't find anything to criticize in me. 2. There are things for which I can be criticized (I mean genuine constructive criticisms), but I am not being criticized by people for some reason. I am more inclined to assume that it is the latter case. Why? Because there is no room for complacency.
So, if this is the case, what could be the reason for people not criticizing me? Perhaps, it is because they know that I am not open to criticisms. Perhaps, in the past, when someone criticized me, for my own good, I have not taken it in the right spirit. And hence, they have come to the conclusion that no matter what is told to me, I wouldn't listen, and hence it is futile trying to make me see. This need not be the only reason. It also could be because they don't care to criticize me, because I am not so important to them. Honestly, I wouldn't be worried if it is the second reason. What if it were the first reason? It means that I probably need to be careful the next time someone criticizes me. I need to be alert so that that thing which people refer to as ego doesn't jump up to defend itself. I need to be careful enough to keep that fellow tied down, so that the criticism is openly received.
Something else caught my attention as I was thinking about this. I have noticed that I do not criticize people that much.. or so I think. Is it because somewhere deep inside I do not want to be criticized? Is it because somewhere in the subconscious mind, I feel that being criticized is too hurting, and hence, I do not want to inflict this pain on others? It could be. I am not sure.
Whatever may be the case, the answer for this question is not going to come immediately. It will take some time. If it is true that I am not open enough to be criticized, I hope I develop that capability.
It was then that I began to wonder. I have rarely faced criticisms. There could be two reasons for this. 1. I am so good that people don't find anything to criticize in me. 2. There are things for which I can be criticized (I mean genuine constructive criticisms), but I am not being criticized by people for some reason. I am more inclined to assume that it is the latter case. Why? Because there is no room for complacency.
So, if this is the case, what could be the reason for people not criticizing me? Perhaps, it is because they know that I am not open to criticisms. Perhaps, in the past, when someone criticized me, for my own good, I have not taken it in the right spirit. And hence, they have come to the conclusion that no matter what is told to me, I wouldn't listen, and hence it is futile trying to make me see. This need not be the only reason. It also could be because they don't care to criticize me, because I am not so important to them. Honestly, I wouldn't be worried if it is the second reason. What if it were the first reason? It means that I probably need to be careful the next time someone criticizes me. I need to be alert so that that thing which people refer to as ego doesn't jump up to defend itself. I need to be careful enough to keep that fellow tied down, so that the criticism is openly received.
Something else caught my attention as I was thinking about this. I have noticed that I do not criticize people that much.. or so I think. Is it because somewhere deep inside I do not want to be criticized? Is it because somewhere in the subconscious mind, I feel that being criticized is too hurting, and hence, I do not want to inflict this pain on others? It could be. I am not sure.
Whatever may be the case, the answer for this question is not going to come immediately. It will take some time. If it is true that I am not open enough to be criticized, I hope I develop that capability.
10 Comments:
hey but I keep criticising everything u, dont I? u can take a leaf out of my book and be accused of ebing overly critical of everything.
lot of typos there. sorry.
u can take a leaf out of my book and be accused of ebing overly critical of everything.
i don't get u here... elaborate.
while an occasional critical prod from someone is definitely necessary, how can you expect others to keep criticising you all the time??
People have better things to do da :p (unless they are Avinash, of course)
After all, one knows oneself best, and criticism from external sources can never be as honest or near the meark as honest self-assessment.
criticisms are good. Acceptt hem with an open heart. Cross check if the criticism is correct. If it is, change otherwise reject it.
nee romba kozhambi poyirruke da..freeya vidu :-)
ram.. there are two facets to ur analysis.
one analysis can delve upon the people around u ..their nature
the second could be on ur receptiveness
going back on the first aspect...
1) every X Y Z on the road cant be expected to give his honest opinion.!
so u cant expect a sincere critisicm from them
2) most of us seriously dont bother the way the other person is.. as long as he is not threatening one's growth
(the serpent of selfishness at times does rises its hood!)
3)a much bothered soul .. would indeed critise u.. but the critisicm wldnt appear harsh simply bcause of the person who gives that to u and sentiment he harbours for u!
4) few other mite belive .. experince can teach u better rather thn they taking a go at u!
comming back to aspect2:
1) Ram..y do u expect critisms from others
2) nothing is as good as self apprisal
3) people neednt alwaz be very balant in their thoughstr and words ..
wat if u have missed and is still missing the intended msg..( which is camouflaged!)
From What I have observed in OI I could tell that you do tend to defend your POV sometimes just for the sake of it.
But, if you feel you are right, then go ahead. Dont bother about what others are thinking of you. THe other bugger is probably more bothered about what you are thinking of him!:)
nobody can take criticism (be it constructive or otherwise) all that easily.
The basic idea for u to do a thing is because u believe in it and criticism can really be hurting what u believe, which means u cannot at all take it lightly. well, thats what i think.
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