Events.. as they are happening...
I am now getting into a critical stage in life... last semester in IIT... and hence, slowly nearing the end of a phase of life... and as the end is approaching closer, there is a hope that the end will be glorious, and the transition into the next phase is good.
Placements began over a month ago, and about one-third of all registered students are placed, while yours truly continues to be jobless (not to be understood the way it should not be). About two-thirds of my batch-mates are placed, which is good news. But the fact that I have not made it to a single short-list so far is raising a few doubts. But it is a strong positive spirit and hope that keeps me brush away some thoughts, and continue to be hopeful of being placed as soon as possible.
An early placement is always a good thing, and the more it gets delayed, it is possible that it affects my project. Just today I had my mid-term evaluation. Though I have done some work so far, my goals are high, and to accomplish them, I need to work really really hard. Knowing how I have been in the last five years, it is a tough ask. But I need to pull up my socks and work hard for just another two months or so. And getting placed at the earliest will really be helpful.
While these are the state of affairs, I wish to share here a few things that I am battling with within myself. It is something I discovered a few days ago when I heard the news of someone getting placed. While I was genuinely happy for him, at one corner of the mind, the thought of not having been placed crept up. So, I asked myself if I really felt happy for him, or was just pretending to be happy for him, and congratulate him as a mere formality. While I have resolved this conflict, it was interesting for me to observe these, and I wondered why it should be so...
While on one side, the people who are still not placed are unable to congratulate and feel happy whole-heartedly for those who get placed, the ones who get placed soon lose their ability to feel for those who haven't. I am not blaming them, but it is just something that is happening, and I just am observing this happening all around. I have seen how there is callousness in their words.. or is it really that they are callous, or the ones who are not placed yet see it that way? All perceptions.. the guy who is still jobless sees something wrong in the attitude of those who are, even if their attitude is alright..
But one thing.. I am beginning to understand how some of my friends who got placed really late last year went through, and partly now I understand why they did what they did. Some things.. u know.. u have to go through to have an idea of what it is.
This makes me wonder... in our hostels we spend four or five years together.. and still, no one really knows what is happening to another guy.. each one has his own room, and each one lives in his own world.. a lot of camaraderie seems to be there.. but when it comes to really crucial things, no one shares anything with another.. you know, on hostel nights, and farewell days, people get so senti about each other.. I wonder.. how can people can get senti despite living like this, in loneliness... perhaps when I think of it, it seems people will get senti only then.. for, in that case, they really have nothing to positive to take with them from their association with each other.. people tend to get senti for all the superficial things.. and exaggerate their feelings to convince themselves that they feel something genuine.. well.. am just hypothesising, and doing some loud thinking..
Well.. that's it from me now.. catch you all later..
Placements began over a month ago, and about one-third of all registered students are placed, while yours truly continues to be jobless (not to be understood the way it should not be). About two-thirds of my batch-mates are placed, which is good news. But the fact that I have not made it to a single short-list so far is raising a few doubts. But it is a strong positive spirit and hope that keeps me brush away some thoughts, and continue to be hopeful of being placed as soon as possible.
An early placement is always a good thing, and the more it gets delayed, it is possible that it affects my project. Just today I had my mid-term evaluation. Though I have done some work so far, my goals are high, and to accomplish them, I need to work really really hard. Knowing how I have been in the last five years, it is a tough ask. But I need to pull up my socks and work hard for just another two months or so. And getting placed at the earliest will really be helpful.
While these are the state of affairs, I wish to share here a few things that I am battling with within myself. It is something I discovered a few days ago when I heard the news of someone getting placed. While I was genuinely happy for him, at one corner of the mind, the thought of not having been placed crept up. So, I asked myself if I really felt happy for him, or was just pretending to be happy for him, and congratulate him as a mere formality. While I have resolved this conflict, it was interesting for me to observe these, and I wondered why it should be so...
While on one side, the people who are still not placed are unable to congratulate and feel happy whole-heartedly for those who get placed, the ones who get placed soon lose their ability to feel for those who haven't. I am not blaming them, but it is just something that is happening, and I just am observing this happening all around. I have seen how there is callousness in their words.. or is it really that they are callous, or the ones who are not placed yet see it that way? All perceptions.. the guy who is still jobless sees something wrong in the attitude of those who are, even if their attitude is alright..
But one thing.. I am beginning to understand how some of my friends who got placed really late last year went through, and partly now I understand why they did what they did. Some things.. u know.. u have to go through to have an idea of what it is.
This makes me wonder... in our hostels we spend four or five years together.. and still, no one really knows what is happening to another guy.. each one has his own room, and each one lives in his own world.. a lot of camaraderie seems to be there.. but when it comes to really crucial things, no one shares anything with another.. you know, on hostel nights, and farewell days, people get so senti about each other.. I wonder.. how can people can get senti despite living like this, in loneliness... perhaps when I think of it, it seems people will get senti only then.. for, in that case, they really have nothing to positive to take with them from their association with each other.. people tend to get senti for all the superficial things.. and exaggerate their feelings to convince themselves that they feel something genuine.. well.. am just hypothesising, and doing some loud thinking..
Well.. that's it from me now.. catch you all later..
21 Comments:
It often happens that even though you will be genuinely happy for your friend who has been placed, you are still thinking of your own case and that brings in dullness and sometimes makes you wonder if you are genuine in congratulating your friend.
Also, the callousness you talk about, it is more to do with their relief. They are caught up in the joy of getting placed, that they forget the pain you feel and you perceive this as callousness.
Don't worry too much. You will get placed in a wonderful company and earn by lakhs. Just hang in there. I'm sure the company you are waiting for will be worth it.
One of the first things that struck me when i first saw you and your gang of friends was definitely the bonding...
I used to wonder how it was possible for u guys to gel together so well when the reason u were all there ws just cos u were better than somebody else.....Isnt that the condition for survival as well?isnt it all about how better u are,than ur fellow student, at what u do than being good at it in an independent,absolute sense?
when sch si the case....are people even responsible for the "callouness"?
First of all, good luck to you. Perseverance will surely be rewarded. Follow your interests. Have that self confidence that you 're one of the best and that the bugger, who does not short list you is a person, who doesn't know whom to shortlist. BNow, would you like to join such a company, where people do not have the brains to recognize talent.
Much of what you said is true. Does that give you an idea of what superficially buttered friendships really are ?
@trespasser
thanks for your good wishes.
hehhee... I am not inclined to believe that I am so good that those companies are going to lose out on not shortlisting me.. u see, the value of anything/anyone is determined by the people around, by the ones who can benefit from it/him/her. And if someone thinks I am worthless to him, it is true, and if someone thinks I am a fantastic product, then that is also true.
But if you are going to talk about companies recognizing talent.. well.. such externalities will be there, and we can never try to say what exact things they are looking for, and so we cannot call them brainless. They do best with whatever brains they have.
It's upto you to think. If you think that you're the best, then you'll be . If you let yourself believe that you're worse, then again, you'll be.
This works well for me. I do not know about you. I will never say "if someone thinks I am worthless to him, it is true".
@trespasser..
what you say works well to be the winner in the competitive world. In that world of rat race, you have to believe yourself to be the best.. else, your low confidence will itself pull you down, even if you are capable of being the best.
But you see.. I am not in the race, and I never want to be in the race. People may compete with me.. but I give a damn.
To me, there are more important things in life, for which, it is desirable I don't have such exalted notions about myself.
But, I wouldn't recommend everyone to adopt my stance.
If you're not a winner, you're a loser. I am talking in every sense - personal, profssional and spiritual. If you are aiming for light, you have to aim to win. Else, you lose.
me wishing u best of luck to get a job asap. i cant say anything more. dont feel for it.
@bharath
thanks big brother.
@trespasser
can you explain your theory?
My theory is a part-modification of The Monk, who sold his Ferrari. Have you read that book ?
There are two ways to become enlightened - to refrain and to abstain. You're probably trying a mixture of the two.
my friend...
i just want you to put forward your thoughts.
And, I haven't read that book. So, it becomes necessary for you to explain things.
There are two ways to become enlightened - to refrain and to abstain. You're probably trying a mixture of the two.
So, are you enlightened?
I would like to say that the answer to your question is "No". I have a long way to go. You might question my integrity on my statement - I cannot answer you, it's difficult to explain. So, let us stop the discussion here. I leave to you to take note of or reject my statement.
You see.. taking note or rejection would depend on your explaining it. Unless you explain it better, I am not going to be able to judge if it is worth considering or not. Correct?
I would strongly recommend a reading of the book. It will hardly take 6-7 hours, but its contents has immense power.
In short, all i will say is - You can refrain from materialism or abstain from it. Abstenance is difficult. To refrain is easier. Personal, spiritual and professional growths are well explained in the book.
what's the difference between refrainment and abstinence?
by reading your last para on senti, i remembered the following article
http://www.samarthbharat.com/directoriitb.htm
shall we have these conversations over gmail ?
it's good that you are observing your thoughts. if you are giving your best, it doesn't matter what the results are, right?
dei totally disagree with the living in loneliness bit.. maybe for dual mataks.. not for me. and that senti is genuine. Come out. And then you will realize. but then maybe u wont. But then who cares :-)
" While I was genuinely happy for him, at one corner of the mind, the thought of not having been placed crept up. So, I asked myself if I really felt happy for him, or was just pretending to be happy for him, and congratulate him as a mere formality." - truly captured. I too felt the same. It looked as if i have written it!
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