A Prayer

I wonder what's happening with me these days. I am doing nothing. Just lazing around, spending too much time with orkut or watching friends or others play quake. No productive work is being done. There are so many things to be done, responsiblities to be carried out and commitments to be met. But I am here, choosing to ignore all that and continue in my illusory world.

I have often had a contempt for doing things out of compulsion. I never would like to see myself doing something just because people are doing it. Not the one to follow the crowd. But, I see that such a laid back attitude is not doing me any good either. If at all anything is happening, it is a waste of time. My spirits are going down and my own feeling of self worth is dwindling. I am neither pursuing what I want to nor doing what I am supposed to. I fail to see where such an attitude will take me.

I wonder whether I am learning a cardinal truth here. That work is of utmost importance. That irrespective of what situation one is in work cannot be compromised. That the only identity of man is his work.

Having seen this truth, what remains to be done is to pick myself up and start working. This requires an exercise of my will. Now, having said that, when I get back to sleep, I forget all these and I am back into the viscious cycle.

I pray to God to give me the will that I need to wake up from the slumber.